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Sunday, October 31, 2010

Bill Clinton and Ms. O'D get naked and no sex happened

     No one really has any idea what happened when the Lady Bug was flitting from flower to flower but if the story is true then Christine O'Donnel has some very bizarre notions of what sexual abstinence is.  She went to a man's apartment, went out drinking with him and then wound up in his apartment with her tongue down his throat and in his bed naked.  At some point she must have known where this was leading.  She waited until she was naked and in bed to bring up her sexual ethics.  This seems like bad planning but mostly poor thinking.   I have no issue with adults engaging in adult activity but I do have a problem with intellectual dishonesty.  This intellectual dishonesty in sexual ethics spans from Bill Clinton who "did not have sex with that woman" to "born again virgins" to teens who are redefining sex.


     The point of sexual abstinence is to protect the heart not the hymen.  Sexual promiscuity leads to building walls around your heart to protect yourself from rejection. Most woman and men, (I want to believe that ) still equate sex and intimacy.  I heard someone say that men form relationships to have sex and women have sex to form relationships.  Abstinence is to protect our ability to form relationships, intimate relationships, by keeping us from forming relationships based on shallow pretenses.

     I am not suggesting that this is true of everyone or that it is even desirable for everyone,  but the "born again virgin" crowd claims that it is.   is to being rejected again and again generates suspicion of new potential partners.  Keeping your heart free to love enables the building of long term relationships.   Deciding to go to bed with someone she barely knew had long term consequences that must have affected how she relates to men over the long term.  She had to put up with this guy she woke up with while dating his roommate for a year.  That is awkward even with out the tell-all blog post.

  I have problems with a woman claiming to be a born again virgin, and then engaging in sexual activity. It is as if she is saying: I will put anything, anywhere but not a penis in my vagina.  What?  Why is that sexual abstinence?  Being a virgin implies some sort of inexperience and innocents.  I am sure there are plenty of dewy eyed, inexperienced 40 year old virgins out there, but she does not appear to be one of them.

     If she wanted a long term relationship that involved marriage and children, and I am assuming she did if she is a Christian, then why stay in a relationship for a year without a commitment of marriage?  Was there no sexual activity for the entire year of any kind or was it the no "p in the v" but anything else goes?  If it was every thing else goes then she was engaged in a sexual relationship, not an abstinent one, and she is not a born again anything.

    When Bill Clinton said he "did not have sex with that women", he was engaging in the same sort of intelectual dishonesty as Ms. O'D.  Believing that we can redefine sex and therefore make it is so adultery didn't happen or that you can claim to be a virgin leads to moral dilemmas.  Real people get hurt 


If it wasn't sex, then what was it,  a very intimate massage?

     More and more teens are redefining sex as only vaginal sex and choosing to engage in risky oral sex; risky for their hearts and bodies. Oral sex is still sex and girls and boys can be used and abused emotionally to perform for their partners.  Oral sex is risky physically because syphilis and gonorrhea are easily transmitted orally.  Redefining sex as only vaginal sex allows vulnerable people to be manipulated into activities they don't want because it is not "sex" and therefore o.k

     I knew a guy in college who said that if a girl was dancing around naked on his bed and she said "No" or "Stop" then it was his duty as a man and a gentleman to stop.  I always appreciated that and was glad there are men like that around.  I think there are a lot more of them than we think and hear about.

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